Governator Offers New Solution to Overcrowded California Schools
Emboldened by his recent court victory to allow the transfer of California prison convicts to cheaper prison facilities in nearby states, Gov. Schwarzenegger announced today his new plan to reduce crowding in California Public Schools by transferring students to less crowded, cheaper schools in Arizona, Nevada, Oregon and Mexico.
"This will save the taxpayers of California millions of dollars," the Governor said today. "This is ah victory for the taxpayers who will save money by paying less for public education of many California children currently trapped in large, over-administrated, insensitive, dangerous, low scoring, delapated, understaffed, poorly supplied decrepit California Public Schools.
The Governor's Deputy of California Economic Statistics, Evert Speer, supplied reporters with a crudely drawn diagram of the large savings possible for California taxpayers. According to this photocopied diagram, California spends an average of $7,000 dollars per year per student in public schools, while Arizona, Nevada and Oregon spent, on average, 30% less per student. "Even with paying a small stipend to feed and house our students in their new schools, California will save significant money," the Governor declared.
When asked about the proposed separation of parent and child, the Governor delcared that, "this will not make any difference. Too many parents of California rarely see their kids anyhow," the Governor said. "Parent is too busy working two or three jobs or stuck in traffic or pursuing their own hedonistic interests to have time to see much of their children. In fact, this proposal might save some parents money for feeding their kids, paying for video games, clothes and other stuff parents have to spend money on, because those expenses will not be there for the family. Some parents might be able to quit one of their jobs and spend more money on themselves, thus helping the economy of California."
When asked what will happen to all the money saved by the state, Governor Schwarzenegger said, "Let me let you hear it from the people who spend the money of California, our State Legislature. Here is Mz Dumphry from the State Legislature." With that, the Governor sat back and lit up a large Cuban cigar.
The State Legislature spokeswoman at this press conference, Ms Beverly Dumphry, beemed when she spoke to reporters about how the California Legislature Majority was already busy drawing up new spending programs to take advantage of this upcoming win fall in tax money. "Many of the projects that our dedicated lawmakers of our state have had on the back burner for years may now become reality," she said with a huge smile on her face. When asked just what the lawmakers had in mind, Ms. Dumphry thought for a moment, scanned a prepared list and said, "The projects which our lawmakers have in mind include raise the minimum wage to at least $15.00/hour, providing state assistance for long-term labor visitors ( illegal immigrants - editor) with housing, learning English, health care and obtaining real drivers licences, increasing public assistance benefits, building new luxury housing in Sacramento for our lawmakers to use while conducting the states business, leasing a new fleet of state vehicles for legislative use, and of course, implementing some of the wonderful projects as suggested by their contributors".
Neither the new President of the California Teachers Association, David Sanchez or Past President of CTA Barbara Kerr was available for comment regarding the teachers opinion of this startling proposal by Governor Schwartzeneggar. An official CTA spokesmanorwoman said that they were both attending the National Teacher's Association "New and Past State Presidents Council" meeting on the island of Bora Bora, and wouldn't be back for a month or so.